You Sell…But I Buy
Your hair dye job need refreshing? Spray paint it. (Guaranteed not to look fake. LMSS)
Ears dirty? Yell from pain for sticking something in your ear too far. Vacuum them!
Blotchy skin? Thereâ€™s a cream for that.
Want to be hairless? Ouch! No! No! Not that! J
Dried out, crusted over heels? Thereâ€™s a solution for that too. (Never mind that washing, drying, and lotioning them never works. Yeah, right.)
A pill for this and a pill for that. No, wait! If youâ€™re taking a pill, hereâ€™s what can happen to you: heart attack, cancer, deathâ€¦but take it anyway. Donâ€™t wait for your doctor to say you need it. Tell him you must have it! It will make you feel better and have more stamina, if you donâ€™t get sick or die first. (My pharmaceutical company can get richer in the meantime.)
Did you take the medicine we begged you to ask for from your doctor? Did you die or know someone who did? Now you can join a lawsuit. The way the commercial is written I guess these lawyers believe in spirits wandering the earth and watching TV so they will know to sue someone for their death. (Trust me, if I see a spirit sitting on my couch watching my TV, Iâ€™m out of there!)
And it goes on and on.
Iâ€™ve got to where I donâ€™t like to watch TV anymore because there I am enjoying a show and then a negative, sometimes disgusting, commercial comes on. Itâ€™s like the networks are saying if you are watching this program you must be just about done in, sick, embarrassed about something about your body or need help to function.
Itâ€™s hard to watch TV in company, especially with teens around. A repulsed look comes across their faces and then one says, â€śEWW! I donâ€™t want to get old.â€ť
â€śSo, how old is old?â€ť
Personally, Iâ€™d say sheâ€™s going to miss out on a lot of living if she gives up by thirty!
Then come the â€śany time the moment is rightâ€ť ads and the EWW gets louder. The teenage boys get a goofy or an uncomfortable look and start to squirm, not making eye contact with anyone. And, the thing is that these commercials seem to be on every station, regardless of whether you are watching a more innocent station like TVLand or Hallmark with stories with kids in them or one of the other cable or satellite stations. It doesnâ€™t even matter anymore if itâ€™s before 8pm or local network programming.
Give me simple, fun commercials that make me feel good about a product, like: Melt in your Mouth, not in your hands;Â Two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheeseâ€¦; Just Do It; A Diamond is Forever; Because you are worth it; Got milk?
I love the Happy Cow commercials. They make me smile. Â Itâ€™s too bad that they are the subject of controversy which curtails more of their production. Animal rights protest the â€śhappyâ€ť cow idea, saying cows are mistreated animals. The commercials have also been criticized because the cows from New Zealand trying to come to California were filmed in New Zealand, taking money away from California film and commercial producers.
Sometimes catchy commercials are pulled because once they leave the U. S.Â the English translation does not fit well in another language. When Clairol introduced its Mist Stick curling iron in Germany, for example, their sales dropped. It seems â€śmistâ€ť meant â€śpoopâ€ť there. And, when KFC tried to promote finger-lickinâ€™ good chicken, it actually came out â€śeat your fingers offâ€ť in China.
If you look at the good, famous commercials, you will find they used plain, simple words, appealed to the masses and had something positive almost everyone could relate to. You wanted to rush out to buy the product because it made you feel good.
M&Ms make me feel good! However, I was disappointed to find out that the reason M&Ms now have a female candy is because feminists threatened to boycott because there were no female candy mascots. That kind of ruined the commercials for me.
If you want to reach a consumer like me, advertisers, change your strategy. Â Remember, I control the remote, I purchase the product, and I, as a consumer, expect your respect and appreciation.
Author, writer, radio host, and educator Glenda Cameron has been co-host of TownTalk since 2006. In addition, she serves as Media Producer and contributing writer to www.towntalkradio.com. She began her radio career in Littlefield, Texas, at KZZN, later moving to KJAK and KFRE in Lubbock. Glendaâ€™s hobbies include guitar, piano, and scanography. Glenda is co-author of the internationally published book "Whatever Happened to Peggy Sue?"